What is one thing that binds you to self pity addictions?
Answer: Getting Offended
Stop blaming others for being offended. YOU allow them to offend you. YOU decide to take it personally. YOU choose to focus on the negative. How many times a day do you allow your emotions to take over your mind?
"Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent." ~Eleanor Roosevelt
Quote of the month: "The person who complains about the way the ball bounces is probably the one who dropped it." ~Lou Holtz
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
14 comments:
so basically what you're saying is someone can walk around and say all the bs about you, treat you like a dog and its up to you to take offense to it? What about the person who's dishing out the bs, aren't they responsible somehow? How about if you treat this person like gold and they say stuff to you, what should you do, turn the other cheek? Then blame yourself if you feel bad that they're treating you this way, its your fault cause you let them ""get to you""..Every situation is different. Eleanor Roosevelt was talking about feeling inferior, not someone else stomping on you every chance they get!
We can't change anyone. The only thing we can control is how we treat them. When someone stomps on you, their actions are saying "I don't deserve you", regardless of what they say. The longer you hang around that person the longer you allow them to treat you that way. Many people allow others to continue to stomp on them because they want them to change and treat them better. But if someone continues to treat someone like gold who doesn't appereciate it then why keep doing it? The most important person in this world is you, If we don't do what is good for ourselves then we aren't good for anyone.
No, we cant change anyone. Yes, the most important person is the individual, but one is a lonely number. Sometimes just to have someone you'll put up with anything. So its either you remain alone or pay the price and allow someone to treat you badly. Is it right for someone to treat you badly when you treat them with love and care, no, its not. Should you blame yourself for allowing them to do so....sorry Darren but I don't agree with you...NO, I refuse to blame myself if I'm being treated badly, that's on that person....He/she is probably miserable with themselves anyways and don't know a good thing if it bit them in the behind.
Sounds like your main goal is not to be alone. So if you choose to be with someone who treats you bad then why should they change. Your not going anywhere. Because you don't want to be alone. I would rather be happy and alone. Most people want to be with someone so bad, that as you said, are willing to put up with the nonsense. I feel that if your are not happy with someone than step away, otherwise by being with them you are enabling them to treat you that way. Most people get stuck on one person and have this image in their mind as to the way they want the relationship to be and how they want to be treated. But they probably don't share that same image with you. If your goal is to be happy then it shouldn't matter who you are happy with as long as you enjoy being with them. But if your goal is not to be alone then expect to get more of the same treatment. If you want be around a positive and funfilled environment then you need to surround yourself with people who inspire and encourage you to get the most out of Life. Life is too short for anything less.
If you are with someone who is treating you poorly then You are choosing someone who is treating you this way. No one is forcing you to stay there. You are choosing to be in a position that sounds like you are not to happy about. You are responsible for who you are with. In which case you are allowing this to go on. Otherwise if you don't like it then step away from it. If not then this is the relationship you choose to be in.
Hey I know it is very difficult to walk away from what is familiar especially when there is a long history there. Amazing things are out there for all of us. But people are afraid of the unknown and would rather stay with what is comfortable hoping it will change. It's ok to have hope, but most people spend thier lives hoping things will change instead of making the change.
If someone treats you badly, then detach from them with compassion for them and yourself. Anonymous said, "So its either you remain alone or pay the price and allow someone to treat you badly." NO! Don't remain alone. There are like 6 billion people in the world. Go out, do some charity work and meet some kind, decent folks. Don't waste time being offended by what someone does to you. Say goodbye to them if they are repeatedly abusive and go meet new people!
Its hard enough to deal with a situation when you know you've given it everything you have but still the person continues to treat you like you're inadequate. It's even harder to be told that because you choose to stay its your fault, you're enabling, you're allowing. Yes, walk away, give up, turn around...physically you can, emotionally you can't. Sorry guys, but speaking personally, I can't turn on and off my emotions like a faucet.
It is not easy. But people use their feelings as an excuse to stay somewhere they are not happy with. We all been in that situation where we were not happy hoping, it will work out. Most couples break up many times because they have a hard time walking away. Most couples know when they are in a break up waiting to happen. But they are so addicted to their feelings they put that ahead of what they know to do.
So put the feelings in the back pocket and move on? Its not easy to not bring your feelings into play. Darren, if the world lived this way there would be no marriages, loving unions, significant others etc., If everyone walked around saying I'm going to not let my feelings get involved and leave this marriage, relationship or situation, no one would want to work out any relationship problems. It would basically be a free for all...let me try this guy, ooops I have feelings for him, but you know what, he's not treating me well so I'm going to stop feeling for him and move on and on and on....that's the way this wheel keeps working now....with feelings I will say, "I believe that my life will see the love I give returned to me"....
Here's a great quote from Joyce Meyer...."A lot of times, people make other people responsible for their joy... I found out just in the past two or three years that my personal joy is not somebody else's responsibility. It's my responsibility. "
I support your desire to be happy and committed to making your relationship work. People shouldn't just bail out when times get tough, but we need to determine if our actions towards our relationships are helping it grow or are our actions only to prevent it from breaking apart.
Relationships are not suppose to be easy but they are not suppose to be that difficult. But if you think it is worth it then stay where you are. But one of the hardest things in any relationship is accepting the person for who they choose to be and if people are not willing to accept the way they are being treated and don't like it, then they can either leave or stay but either way there are consequences to your choices and you must surrender to that choice. When it comes to marriages, most people may have seen the warning signs at the beginning of the realtionship but choose to stay and ignore them becuase their priority is not happiness, their priority is to be with someone. If I were to ask people what their top 3 most important things about any relationship are, you will find that many married people are not on the same page because they didn't discuss it and now find out years later who each other really is and what their priorities are. All because many people are in love with being in love and don't want to be alone, so they will ignore warning signs at the beggining of the relationship and find themselves years later saying, "Why do I allow them to treat me this way?" My answer would be because to them being with someone and being unhappy is better than not having anyone. I'd rather have a season of loneliness than a lifetime of unfulfilled desires because I don't chose to surround myseslf with emotinal vampires whose steal my joy for life.
But people will continue to blame others for allowing them to treat them a way they don't want to be treated and say, "But I can't leave it is too hard," That way they justify their actions and don't want to take responsiblity for them. I believe when it comes to relatioships people are where they are because of the choices they have made.
Yes I believe you should do onto others as you would like done onto you, but the bottom line is people treat us the way we let them.
I think we can all use another Joyce Meyer quote... ""I used to be a very selfish,
self-centered person.
I was always mad at somebody
because my life wasn't what I thought it should be...I began to realize
that I was unhappy
because I wasn't really reaching out to anybody else.
I was just sitting back,
wanting them to make me happy."
- Joyce Meyer
Post a Comment