New Years Resolution

I will not be addicted to my feelings!

This is called Mental Toughness.
Do we let our feelings take over and control what we do? The secret is, "Don't act how you feel." Understand that everything you do is a choice. You choose to do what you want and it is usually linked to how you feel. But guess what, "Don't act how you feel." Get out of your own way. Will power is built on not acting on how you feel. Our addiction to our feelings will make us react, overreact, disrespect others, be bitter, miserable, and wallow in self pity.

How far you go in life, will depend on whether you can put your feelings in your pocket and do what you have to do, when you have to do it, whether you like it or not.

"Tough times don't last. Tough people do."

Quote of the month: "We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give."

What are you waiting for?

Are you living?
Or are you truly alive?

Are you living by your self imposed limits?
Or are you stretching those limits?

Do you wait for things to happen?
Or do you make it happen?

Are you waiting for Jan. 1 to start something new or finish something old? You already have that internal drive. Find something that inspires you and read it or watch it everyday. Once you start going what will keep you going?

"Nothing will work unless you do."

Quote of the month: "We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give."

Maybe the best gifts are for free

A special Happy Birthday to a student-athlete with infinite potential, Kerrin Haganey.
Have we spent crazy hours and too much time on trying to find that perfect gift to make someone happy? How long will it take before that child or person's happiness wears off? The most creative and heartfelt gifts, are the one's that last forever. Bianca has truly given her Mom a gift that keeps on giving. This 3rd grade girl wrote the following poem to her Mom:
"The Best Gifts Are For Free"

I bought a Christmas present, to give it to my mom,
I saved up all my money and somehow it is gone.

I don't know how I lost it, it makes me oh so mad,
If I never find it, I will be very sad.

The day is soon to come when Christmas eve arrives,
But all I have to give her are the tears from in my eyes.

So I got glue and scissors and paper from the shelf,
And made a pretty card with Jesus and an elf.

Now on Christmas morning, she'll have something from me,
I made this gift with love. The best things are for free.
~Bianca

Quote of the month: "We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give."

A Christmas gift

"To wish you were someone else is to waste the person you are."
Here is my Christmas gift to you:
Name 5o things that you love about yourself. If this seems daunting to you, than this is a bigger gift to yourself than anyone could ever give you. If you don't think you can name 50 things that you love about yourself, than look a little deeper.

Who is the most important person in the world?
YOU ARE! Let's stop and take care of you. The better you take care of yourself, the more you can give to others.

You are full of infinite potential. You have more inside you than you think is possible. Don't believe me? Start writing those 50 great things about yourself.
When you have your list: take a deep breath, take a look and take it in.
MERRY CHRISTMAS

"Believe in your dreams and they may come true; believe in yourself and they will come true."

Quote of the month: "We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give."

What is on your Christmas list?

Is it
1. Confidence
2. Self Esteem
3. Will Power
4. Believing in yourself
5. Enthusiasm

Here is the secret. No one can give these gifts to you. Why? Because these gifts are already inside you.

"For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible."
~Stuart Chase

Quote of the month: "We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give."

Who will you be a blessing to today?

It's up to you.
You decide if it will happen.
You know how to do it, but will you?
Everyday is an opportunity. What are you doing with your opportunity to be a blessing to someone today?

A kind word to a stranger. A thank you card to someone who has changed your life. A word of encouragement. A huge a hug to someone you might have hurt.
It's funny how just being kind to someone will make a difference in their life.

"Be kind to unkind people- they need it the most." ~Ashleigh Brilliant

Quote of the month: "We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give."

Little story of Happiness

An adult noticed that his cousin's Christmas list consisted of, dvd's, cd's, and video games. The adult asked his little cousin, "Why do you want all these things. Do you think these gifts are going to make you happy?" The little boy said, "Yes they would make me very happy." The adult walked his little cousin in the other room and showed him all his dvd's, cd's and video games that his parents had bought him throughout the years. The adult said, "Wow you already have a lot of vidoe games and all types of entertainment. Did you think having all those games was going to make you happy?" The little boy looked puzzled. "You see no matter how much we have it still isn't enough. We think happiness lies in things. Happiness lies within us. Happiness can't be bought. But there is plenty of people who want to find that out for themselves." The little boy said, "Well my parents think it can."

"Some pursue happiness- others create it." ~Unknown

Quote of the month: "We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give."

Don't let good enough be good enough

Content, complacent, satisfied, comfortable, appeased, gratified.

Do you fall into anyone of these terms? Once we get comfortable, we stay right where we are. Where is your journey taking you? Now ask yourself, "Where would I like to go?" And What are you doing to get there?

"Your success is only limited by your desire. It's not how good you are, it's how bad you want it."

Quote of the month: "We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give."

Team

A high school basketball Coach, likes to put his players in competition with each other, just to get them to play harder. After the last game, the Coach was agitated by the lack of rebounds his team accumulated. At the following practice, the Coach interrupted a drill to castigate his players for their lack of rebounding. Coach began to let all the players know how many rebounds each one of the players had. In a loud agitated, angry pitch the coach said, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? SOME OF OUR PLAYERS ONLY GOT 4 REBOUNDS FOR THE WHOLE GAME! OUR POINT GUARD HAD 10 REBOUNDS! OUR POINT GUARD HAD MORE REBOUNDS THAN ANYONE ELSE ON THE TEAM! HOW DOES OUR POINT GUARD HAVE MORE REBOUNDS THAN THE TEAM?!

A Player slowly put his hand up to answer the question. The Coach shouted, "YES!" The player responded, "Coach. Those weren't the point guards rebounds. Those were OUR rebounds." The Coach , realizing what his player was trying to say responded, "Your right. Now lets get back to the drill."

"Once we have the teamwork we can make the dream work."

Quote of the month: "We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give."

Attitude will make or break you

If you feel Great, then tell others about it. We love to express our feelings by telling others. But is there a reason why we express our negative feelings?

Do you say to others, "I'm tired", "I'm hungry", "I'm stressed", "I don't feel like it." Why is it so much easier for us to complain? If you're awake, Do you walk around telling others all day, "Hey, I'm awake." When you do feel like it, Do you constantly tell others that you feel like it?

Sounds strange. But do we share our positive emotions with others as much as we share our negative emotions? If your answer is "NO" then my question is, "Why not?" You say you don't have as much positive emotions. Then my question is, "What are you going to do about it?"

Are we on the same tread mill every day with constant complaining while stuck in the same routine? Are you living your life to positively influence others? Or are you living your life with an ("I can't wait til the day is over") attitude?

Your future is now. What attitude are you practicing today that you wish to see a change in your tomorrow?

"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." ~Jimmy Dean

Quote of the month: "We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give."

Are you searching for Happiness?

For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin--real life, But there was always some obstacle in the way. Something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my Life. This perspective has helped me to see there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one. -Souza


"Happiness is a journey, not a destination." ~Souza


Quote of the month: "We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give."

Are you still holding a grudge?

Why? Whenever we hold a grudge we are saying, "You hurt my ego and I will not let you disrespect me." When you allow others to hurt your feelings it is because you are taking things way too personally. "Revenge is like biting a dog because the dog bit you." ~Austin O'Malley

The world is not out to hurt you. Sometimes people get into each others way and someone gets hurt.
1st lesson of life- You will get hurt.
2nd lesson of life- How quick you bounce back, will determine how successful you will be.
"Revenge is a confession of pain."

While some of us are wallowing in self pity, others are out making a difference. If your life is important to you, than why are you wasting it on thinking about past events. Your life, is living it now and your success is waiting in your future. But if you get stuck in the past you will not enjoy the present or look forward to the future.

"An eye for an eye would make the whole world blind." ~ Mahatma Ghandi

Quote of the month: "We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give."

Someone needs what you have

How many opportunities will you have to inspire someone today? But the real question is, "Will you?"

Others need your encouragement, your enthusiasm, your energy. So why not give it to them. Do you focus on how others treat you or, Are you more concerned with how you treat others?

Whenever you walk into a room you have an attitude. Is it positive or negative?
When you walk into a room, you have energy. Is it high or low?

"Enthusiasm is contagious- and so is the lack of it."

Quote of the month: "We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give."

How do you remember something?

Answer: Attach something emotional to it

Ever remember a time when you were extremely happy or sad. Once our emotions become attached to the event, it becomes hard to forget.

Entertainment= Emotion
Emotion= Attention (keeps you focused)
Attention= Meaning (focus long enough and you develop a meaning)
Meaning= Memory (strong emotional meaning creates memory)

"It is wise to direct your anger towards problems- not people; to focus your energy on answers- not excuses." ~William Arthur Ward

Quote of the month: "We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give."

How bad do you want it?

Tiger Woods at the golf course
Golfer: Come on Tiger lets eat. It's lunch time.
Tiger: Nah that's ok I'm still putting.

Many hours later
Golfer: Come on Tiger it's dinner time.
Tiger: Nah that's ok I'm still putting.

Tiger Woods doesn't leave the green until he makes a 100 puts.

"You've got to get up every morning with determination if you're going to go to bed with satisfaction." ~George Lorimer

Quote of the month: "We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give."

If you are going through hell, then keep going

"The butterfly is the most human of all insects, for the pain of its metamorphosis most closely resembles the pain experienced in human growth. If we know that the beautiful butterfly inside the cocoon is fighting to get out and we love it and help it by doing for it, we will kill it. The struggle that it undergoes is what gives it the strength to live. Children also, if we really love them, must be allowed to struggle for only through adolescents can they acquire the security of adulthood." ~Michael DeSisto

Whatever you are going through- KEEP GOING. Once you get through it, you will have made a difference in the lives of those watching you.

Micheal DeSisto opened up his own schools with heavy concentration on turning teenagers into adults. He has a book out called, "Decoding your teenager, How to understand each other during the turbulent."

"Loving is not doing for, but sharing with." ~Michael DeSisto

Quote of the month: "We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give."

How do you judge the importance of your life?

A Coach was not happy that his 3rd grade player hasn't been giving enthusiastic high fives to her teammates. The Coached asked the player, "How do you get your teammates to give you an enthusiastic high five?" To his surprise she answered, "By giving them myself."

What are you giving to others that you wish to have brought upon yourself? Jackie Robinson was the first African-American Athlete to play in Major League Baseball. It was in his contract that he wasn't allowed to retaliate against any racial slurs or even someone spitting on him. However his positive outlook on life remained the same. Why? do you ask. Because his tombstone will forever read,

"A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives."~Jackie Robinson

Quote of the month: "We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give."

Are you offended?

Everyday you have an opportunity to be offended. The only way we get offended is because we take things personally. Do we really think that others do things on purpose to offend us? You know those people who think everyone is out to get them. The world isn't set out to offend you. See it isn't about you.

Do you practice being offended everyday? Have you ever been in a situation where you were offended before finding out the facts. Some of us get offended quicker than others, and then we may want the person that offended us to make us feel better. Or make it up to us.

"Life is not about what happens to you. Life is about how you handle what happens to you. "

Quote of the month: "We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give."

What is your message?

When you speak do you:
Inspire or Despire
Pick them up or pull them down

When you give advice do you ever say, "If I was you this is what I would do." That isn't giving advice. Giving advice is helping to assess the situation and allowing the other person to make their own decision without telling them what to do. Advice is meant to be given not taken.

Allow others to make their decisions with an understanding that you will be there for them no matter what decision they make.

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't." ~Erica Jonq

Quote of the month: "We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give."

What do you do?

Has anyone ever said to you, "Yeah I know. I know." Ever realize when you try and give advice, the person you are speaking to already knows what they should be doing. Then why don't they do it? Answer: Most people spend their lives practicing not to take action. Everyday we have this list in our minds of what we should and need do get done. Our favorite saying might be, "Maybe later." "Procrastinate Procrastination." ~Dr. Gilbert

"If you know what to do, but you don't do what you know, then why know it."

Quote of the month: "Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want." ~Randy Pausch

We all have an Attitdue. Is it Positive or Negative?

Paul Stuart Wichansky appeared at Montclair University this past week and just hearing him speak, left the students in amazement as they are still talking about the impact he made. Paul was giving a talk at a high school when he noticed a teenage girl, in the back of the room, with her head down throughout the duration of his talk. After the auditorium cleared, this young girl approached Paul and said, "Hi. My name is Danielle and I have Cerebral Palsy." Paul responded, "Yes but it doesn't need to have you."

Paul Stuart Wichansky was born with Cerebral Palsy. Paul was also born hard of hearing, as he wears a hearing aid in each ear. Paul's motto is, "Take the 'Dis' out of disability. The person that struggles, sets the standard; cheating destroys that." Paul Stuart Wichansky is an amazing speaker. After his seminars, people rush to meet him. He reassures others that they are special just the way they are.

Paul Stuart Wichansky website is justthewayyouare.com

Some people may have been born with a disability. But others create our own disabilities in our mind called "MOOMBA: My Own Obstacle May Be Attitude." ~Ed Agresta

"Don't let you attitude become your biggest disability." ~Paul Stuart Wichansky.

Quote of the month: "Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want." ~Randy Pausch

Are you Motivated or Caffeinated?

If you think you need caffeine every morning to get yourself going for the life that you chose; then change your life. Some started out with 1-2 cups of coffee and now they drink 3-5 cups a day. Are you dependant on a drug called caffeine?

Have you ever woke up just too motivated to go to school or work? If you drink coffee in the morning, your answer is probably no. Instead of being Caffeinated why not be Motivated. How?

By surrounding yourself with people who already are motivated. Call Success Hot Line. It is a free 3 minute motivational message or story every single morning. One of the top motivators in the country leaves a motivational message on his machine every morning. Most people get up in the morning and have the same unmotivated routine. If you want to be Motivated instead of Caffeinated, than change your morning routine.

Let's take the first step and start today. Call Dr. Gilbert's Success Hot Line at 973.743.4690.
Your whole day is filled with information. But without inspiration, than how much of your day will you actually enjoy. If you read this blog every day, you have already taken a step.

I-I=0 Information without Inspiration = Nothing

Quote of the month: "Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want." ~Randy Pausch

Compassion and Kindness

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. "How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked. "Fifty cents," replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it. "Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired. By now more people were waiting for a table and the
waitress was growing impatient. "Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied. The little boy again counted his coins. "I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.

The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies..

You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

"Kindness is giving without the thought of receiving."

Quote of the month: "Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want." Randy Pausch

Why are you complaining?

Why do we get mad? Answer: Things aren't going the way we want it to?

Ever notice that every time we complain, it is because something might have happened that we didn't plan on or don't agree with. Do we spend most of our day complaining about things that we are not in control of? When we complain, we are allowing our thoughts to control our emotions.

A child once asked his Dad, "Do you like to complain?" Father answered emphatically, "NO!" The child then asked, "Then why do you do it?"

What you focus on will decide your happiness.

"You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses."

Quote of the month: "Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want." ~Randy Pausch

What thoughts do you put into action?

"Yes you should do that. That's a good idea. Oh that sounds great. You have some great ideas."
Thoughts. Thoughts. Thoughts.

3 Frogs were sitting on a log. 1 frog decides to jump off. How many frogs are left?

You can decide to do anything you want. But if you want something to happen, you must put your thoughts into action.

"Thoughts are what you want. Actions are what you get." ~Dr. Gilbert

Quote of the month: "Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want." ~Randy Pausch

Are you emphatic?

People have the greatest computers on their head and can learn anything. But if you bore them, it's like pulling the plug.

Someone once said to Dr. Gilbert knock'em dead. Dr. Gilbert responded,

"Don't Knock'em Dead. Knock'em Alive."

Quote of the month: "Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want." ~Randy Pausch

Don't let life catch up to you

A Father is going back into boxing at 57 years old. His son doesn't understand and just wants him to be like the other dads, relax and enjoy his retirement.

Dad: I want to fight again
Son: Yea but... don't you think you're to old?
Dad: Yea but you think you oughta stop trying things cause you had a few too many birthdays? I do not!
Son: What are you trying to prove to other people pop?
Dad: Prove? Listen. I stopped thinking the way other people think along time ago. You gotta think like you think.
Son: Hey it's a different world now. Life is going to catch up to all of us.
Dad: Yea. Your right. Especially if you're standing still.

Especially if you're standing still? Are you standing still? Are you allowing life to catch up to you by focusing on things you aren't in control of. Others will try and keep you right where you are. Why? Because most people stay in their comfort zone and are afraid to fail. Failing is inevitable but standing still is not.

"Some people will wait for something to happen. Others will make it happen."
Which one are you?

Quote of the month: "Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want." ~Randy Pausch

A Thank you note for being thankful, goes a long way

Happy Thanksgiving
One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rain storm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960's. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab.

She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached.

It read:
'Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away... God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others.'

Sincerely,
Mrs. Nat King Cole.

"In separateness lies the world's great misery, in compassion lies the worlds true strength." ~Buddha

Quote of the month: "Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want."
~Randy Pausch

How much time do you spend on impacting the world?

How much time is spent on making ourselves look good everyday? How much money have we spent on making ourselves handsome or pretty? Your clothes, your make-up, your shoes, your hair, and my favorite, your jewelery shouldn't determine how you feel. How you feel about who you are determines that. Do we need to constantly have new clothes to look good? Wait. It's ok to have new things, but my question to you is, Do you depend on those clothes to make you feel good?

Once we buy a new outfit it makes us feel great in it. Then after awhile we don't feel the same in that outfit and guess what, we have to go shopping again to make ourselves feel good in another one. Ever notice that tv commercials are all about trying to make us feel bad because we don't look or feel a certain way if we don't buy their product.

You should feel good about who you already are. If you don't, instead of going shopping for clothes than go shopping for friends that make you feel that way. Your friends and family members should make you feel great about who you are. Do they pick you up or pull you down? Do they allow you to wallow in self pity, or do they help you bounce back?

You have something special to offer the world. You are full of infinite potential. You and your friends should feel the same way about you. Now stop reading this and go make a difference in the world today.

"You get paid to impact the world, not get impacted by it." ~Mal Pancoast

Quote of the month: "Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want." ~Randy Pausch

How to keep away self imposed stress?

Do you:

-make yourself get up in the morning

-make yourself go to work

-make yourself clean

-make yourself do things you don't want to do

Have you ever been somewhere and you kept looking at the time because you are making yourself stay there. Every time we make ourselves do something, it builds stress.

Instead of making, start letting. Let yourself get up in the morning. Let yourself go to work or school. See we don't make ourselves party, play, hang out. We have less stress whenever we let ourselves enjoy what we are doing. If you are making yourself do something, chances are you probably aren't enjoying it.

Are you ready in the morning to face the days challenges= letting. Or are you bitter because you have to face the days challenges= making. At the end of the day you can look back and see how you handled every situation. Will you pass or fail. Remember others are watching the way you live.

"Don't count the days. Make the days count." ~Ed Agresta

Quote of the month: "Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want." ~Randy Pausch

Are your everyday actions inspiring those around you?

You may not know it, but people are watching the way you live.

The story of Rose

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being. She said, "Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty seven years old. Can I give you a hug?" Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her. She was living it up. At the end of the semester, we invited her to speak at our football banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us.

As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she said, "I'm sorry. I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know."
As we laughed, she began. "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. Here are the secrets to staying young:

Being Happy
Achieving Success
Laugh and find humor everyday

You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!

There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are 19 years old and lie in bed for a full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn 20. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability.

-Always finding opportunity in change- Have No regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we have did, but rather for the things we did not do. The only people who fear death are the ones with regrets."

At the year's end Rose finished her college degree. One week after graduation, Rose died peacefully in her sleep. Over 2000 college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example.

It is never too late to be all you can possibly be.
"Growing older is mandatory. Growing up is optional." ~Rose

"We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give."

Quote of the month: "Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want." ~Randy Pausch